Greg Hausler Eggplant Editor Amidst the circus that is the current executive branch of government, President Donald Trump has decided to make a new hire. You … Continue reading Eggplant: Is that Vince McMahon’s Music?
Bobby Tuzzio Chief Eggplant Editor This is a special Crusader report. Flash drives have repeatedly been seen on and off campus during the last month. Flash … Continue reading Eggplant: Flash Drives Making a Resurgence on Campus
Holin Corrigan Literal Human Garbage An Eggplant special investigation has revealed that the SGA co-presidents Donnie Stephens and Maggie Scanlon are being held hostage by nefarious forces and their weekly update videos are in fact desperate pleas for help. While the identity of hostage takers are still unknown, upon close inspection of the videos, it’s clear that Holy Cross’ leaders of the student body are in very dire straits. The Eggplant’s dedicated team of code-breakers have discerned that in the videos, Stephens and Scanlon have been communicating messages of distress via blinking in Morse code. An analysis of Stephens’ blinks … Continue reading Eggplant: SGA Co-Presidents Held Hostage
Greg Hausler Eggplant Editor On July 21, 2017, Anthony Scaramucci was hired as White House Communications Director. On July 31, 2017, he was fired from the … Continue reading Eggplant: The Mooch is Loose
DJ Khaled Expert on Major Keys Despite insisting that “No, there’s not a problem, it’ll turn up, I swear,” members of the Purple Key Society (PKS) … Continue reading Eggplant: Purple Key Society Loses Purple Key
By N.A.C. Lang Students at Holy Cross have never looked better. This semester, Kimball Dining Hall has started a new initiative to cut back students’ sodium … Continue reading Kimball Salt Initiative Yields Incredible Health Benefits
By O. Nellie, Staff Writer Hello. I am one of the few rising juniors who knows that Worcester is the greatest place on Earth. I would … Continue reading Wanted: Temporary Friends for Junior Year