Study Shows that Students Have Like Way Too Much Work To Hang Out Right Now

In the midst of a very tough time for all of us students, resident sophomore Richard Seymour reports that he has just way too much work to hang out right now. His roommate, Larry Wilson, tells The Eggplant that he has asked several times if Richard wanted to hang out or go up to Crossroads. Wilson states, “Yeah I get it but it just seems like we all have a lot of work and it won’t kill him to take a short break.” This report is found across campus as we see hundreds of students are like way too busy to hang out right now. This seems to be an epidemic across campus as we have received anonymous reports telling us that all of their friends have been unreachable for weeks.

We’re just barely passed the midpoint of the semester, but according to Wilson and similar accounts, students are unwilling to hang out, even on a Friday night. It may come across as a shock to some, but doing work on a Friday night is a little strange. Wilson goes on to states that this happens to others throughout his friend group. “We all have a lot of work. We go to Holy Cross, I thought that was a given,” states Wilson as he walks back to Lehy from Cool Beans.

In order to find out more information about this scientific phenomenon, we contacted our local experts: biology majors. As we sent out our roving reporters, we were shocked by the information we found. As our dutiful reporters went around, we found a common trend amongst all of our interviewees: they were all too busy to answer our questions. An anonymous Bio major stated, “Hey man I’m studying for an Orgo test can you ask me this later?” Though this may have been an outlier to our information, a similar report was found. Valerie Michaels ’18 also told The Eggplant that she was reportedly “too busy with lab reports to answer dumb questions about people being too busy to do trivial things.” As we went back to Larry with the sad news, there was a shocking display by our friend. As our reporter attempted to visit Larry on the second floor of Lehy, he was met with a closed door and a whiteboard that stated, “Busy doing a Psych paper, come back later.”

We are simply at a standstill here. It seems as though everyone, even those complaining about people being too busy with work, is busy with work. We here at The Eggplant are interested in continuing our research on this phenomenon. We have to ask the important questions such as: “Do you really have ‘work’ or do you just not want to hang out with me?” and “I can hear you playing video games in your room, are you going to get back to work or can you chill for a bit?” We look forward to diving further into the case.

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